THERE ARE SOME THINGS IN THIS WORLD THAT I CANNOT PROTECT YOU FROM. THEY ARE THE THINGS THAT I FEAR AND HATE THE MOST.
YOU'RE HAVING SEIZURES. IT MAY BE NOTHING, BUT IT SCARES ME. WE'RE GOING TO THE DOCTOR AT 11:45 THIS MORNING ABOUT IT. DEPENDING ON WHAT I TELL THEM AND STUFF, WE MIGHT EVEN HAVE TO SEE A NEUROLOGIST.
A FEW MONTHS BACK, AS I WAS GETTING YOU DOWN FOR A NAP, YOU DID THIS WEIRD LITTLE 3 QUICK NOSE BREATHS AND THEN YOUR WHOLE BODY SEIZED UP AND YOUR EYES ROLLED BACK IN YOUR HEAD. THAT LASTED MAYBE 2 SECONDS AND IT HAPPENED LIKE 3 TIMES IN A ROW. FREAKED ME OUT, BUT I CALLED THE DOC AND THEY SAID THAT SOME KIDS GET THAT IN THE TIMES RIGHT BEFORE FALLING ASLEEP AND IT NORMALLY PASSES. IT PASSED. ONLY HAPPENED FOR A COUPLE DAYS AND WENT AWAY, SO I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING OF IT AFTER IT STOPPED. BUT ABOUT 5 OR SO DAYS AGO, AS YOU WERE ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP FOR A NAP ON THE COUCH, YOU SUCKED IN THRU YOUR NOSE REALLY HARD, LIKE YOU HAD A STOPPED UP NOSE. SO THAT'S ALL I THOUGHT - AND I THOUGHT NOTHING MORE OF IT. THEN YOU DID IT BEFORE YOU WENT TO SLEEP, SO I THOUGHT YOUR ALLERGIES MUST BE MESSING WITH YOU, SO I GAVE YOU BENADRYL. THEN IT HAPPENED THE NEXT DAY, ONLY A LITTLE MORE AND THEN AGAIN, AND I THOUGHT WE NEEDED TO GET A HUMIDIFIER FOR YOUR ROOM B/C MAYBE YOUR NOSE WAS REALLY DRY - THEN AFTER LAST NIGHT, I KNOW IT'S NOT YOUR NOSE. IT'S LIKE LITTLE SEIZURES OVER AND OVER AGAIN. YOU SUCK IN REALLY HARD THRU YOUR NOSE, AND AS YOU DO IT, YOUR WHOLE LITTLE BODY TENSES UP. YOU WOULD DO IT, THEN RELAX FOR A COUPLE SECONDS, THEN DO IT AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN. LASTED ABOUT 15 MINUTES LAST NIGHT BEFORE YOU FINALLY FELL ASLEEP. EVENTUALLY LAST NIGHT YOU WERE TENSING UP SO MUCH IT WAS AS IF YOU WERE TRYING TO CLIMB OVER YOUR BED RAIL OR UP ONTO MY LAP OR CHEST. ONCE YOU FALL ASLEEP YOU'RE FINE, YOU DON'T DO IT AGAIN - BUT LAST NIGHT EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU WOKE UP (BE IT FROM BAD DREAMS OR WET DIAPER), YOU WOULD DO IT AGAIN FOR ABOUT A MINUTE BEFORE FALLING BACK ASLEEP.
I CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IF YOU HAVE A COLD. I CAN HELP YOU FEEL BETTER IF YOU HAVE HAND, FOOT, AND MOUTH. I CAN MAKE THE OUCHIE GO AWAY WITH A KISS IF YOU FALL DOWN. I CAN HELP IF YOU HAVE A TUMMY ACHE. I CAN'T STOP YOUR BRAIN FROM SENDING WEIRD SIGNALS TO YOUR BODY. I CAN'T STOP THAT. THERE CAN'T BE ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOU. I'M TELLING YOU NOW, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY PROBLEMS LIKE THAT. YOU JUST CAN'T. IF YOU DO, WE'LL WORK THRU IT AND MAKE IT BETTER - BUT I THINK WE JUST NIP THIS IN THE BUD NOW. TELL YOUR BRAIN THAT IT NEEDS TO STOP AND MAYBE THAT'LL WORK.
I'M NOT GOING TO REALLY FREAK OUT ABOUT IT YET THO. COULD BE NOTHING. COULD BE "NORMAL" EVEN THO I DON'T KNOW ANYONE THAT USED TO HAVE SEIZURES AS THEY WERE FALLING ASLEEP, BUT WHATEVER, MAYBE IT IS.
I LOVE YOU BABY.
BE WELL.
♥ MOMMA