WELL, YOU STOPPED THROWING UP. I’VE BEEN GIVING YOU PREVACID ONCE A DAY AND I THINK IT’S HELPING. SO I FEEL BETTER THAT YOU FEEL BETTER.
YOU CAN CLIMB UP ONTO THE COUCH NOW. YOU’RE JUST GETTING SO BIG, BABY.
YOU’VE SLEPT IN YOUR BED FOR THE PAST 3 NIGHTS. I MISS HAVING YOU IN BED NEXT TO ME SO WE CAN SNUGGLE, BUT I KNOW WE ALL (YOU, ME, AND YOUR DADDY) SLEEP BETTER IF YOU’RE IN YOUR BED AND WE’RE IN OURS. YOU STILL WAKE UP DURING THE NIGHT, BUT ALL I HAVE TO DO IS PAT YOU ON YOUR LITTLE BOOTY AND RUN MY FINGERS THRU YOUR HAIR AND GIVE YOU YOUR PACI AND YOU GO BACK TO SLEEP.
WE’VE TAKEN THE PACI BACK AWAY DURING THE DAY. THE ONLY TIME YOU GET IT NOW IS IF YOU’RE IN YOUR CRIB – AND IT’S WORKING JUST FINE. I HAVEN’T WORKED UP THE PLAN ON HOW TO BREAK YOU OF THE BOTTLE YET THOUGH.
YOUR DADDY AND I ARE TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO MOVE TO ARKANSAS SO WE CAN BE CLOSER TO YOUR NANA SO SHE CAN WATCH YOU WHILE WE’RE AT WORK. I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S GONNA HAPPEN, BUT I KNOW WE’RE GONNA TRY. I KNOW THE AREA’S BETTER, THE SCHOOLS ARE BETTER, AND I THINK IT’D BE A BETTER A ENVIRONMENT FOR YOU.
WELL, I GUESS THAT’S ALL FOR NOW.
I LOVE YOU BABY
♥ MOMMA

YOU KEEP THROWING UP. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON. THIS IS 4 DAYS IN A ROW NOW. IT’S STARTING TO WORRY ME A LOT. I TRY TO ACT LIKE IT DOESN’T BOTHER ME AND IT’S OK AND YOU’LL BE FINE, BUT REALLY I’M SCARED ABOUT IT.

THE FIRST 3 NIGHTS YOU THREW UP MULTIPLE TIMES AND IT WAS REALLY WATERY/MILKY WITH LITTLE CHUNKS – LIKE WATERED DOWN COTTAGE CHEESE, AND YOU STARTED THE THROWING UP WHILE YOU WERE ASLEEP. LIKE YOU’D BE ALSEEP, YOU’D THROW UP, YOU’D STAY ASLEEP OR THE COLD OF THE AIR AGAINST YOUR WET SKIN WOULD WAKE YOU UP BUT NOT THE ACT OF VOMITING ITSELF – LAST NIGHT WAS DIFFERENT. YOU HADN’T BEEN TO SLEEP YET. WE WERE PLAYING IN THE FLOOR AND YOU GOT A LITTLE REFLUX IN YOUR MOUTH AND THEN STARTED VOMITING. AND IT WAS CHUNKY AND THICK LIKE MASHED POTATOES AND NOODLES AND YOU THREW UP LOTS (OR WHAT SEEMED LIKE LOTS), AND YOU CRIED B/C IT SCARED YOU AND YOU COULDN’T STOP IT. IT WASN’T WATERY.
YOU DIDN’T HAVE A VERY WET DIAPER THIS MORNING.
YOU SHOULD HAVE.
YOU HAD REALLY REALLY WATERY DIARRHEA LAST NIGHT. IT WAS MORE LIKE BROWN WATER THAN POO.
I’M TIRED OF YOU BEING SICK.
ARE YOU GETTING INTO SOMETHING AT DAYCARE YOU SHOULDN’T BE?
ARE YOU GETTING INTO SOMETHING AT HOME (I DON’T SEE HOW B/C WE FOLLOW YOU ALL THE TIME, BUT STRANGER THINGS DO HAPPEN)?
DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER DAMN VIRUS?
DOES IT HURT? YOU DON’T HAVE A FEVER. DAMNIT, LEARN TO TALK AND TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG B/C THIS IS HORRIBLE! YOU WAKE UP CRYING AND THRASHING ABOUT AT NIGHT. I’VE WRITTEN IT OFF AS GAS, BUT IS THAT PART OF WHAT’S WRONG?

OK, I JUST TALKED TO YOUR PEDIATRICIAN’S NURSE – SHE MADE ME FEEL BETTER. SHE SAID THAT SINCE YOU’VE GOT THAT COLD THAT DRAINAGE MIXED WITH ACID REFLUX HURTS, A LOT, AND MAKES YOU NOT WANT TO EAT (WHICH YOU HAVEN’T WANTED TO) AND IT’LL GIVE YOU DIARRHEA – BUT YOU HAVEN’T WANTED TO DRINK MUCH AND YOU NEED TO WITH DIARRHEA, SO I’M GONNA GET SOME GATORADE FOR YOU AND SEE IF YOU’LL DRINK IT – AND TO GIVE YOU MYLANTA TWICE A DAY FOR 2-3 DAYS IN ADDITION TO PREVACID AND IF YOU AREN’T BETTER OR SHOWING IMPROVEMENT BY THURSDAY AFTERNOON TO CALL HER – AND IF YOU HAVEN’T HAD ENOUGH WET DIAPERS BY TOMORROW NIGHT TO CALL HER THURSDAY MORNING. YOU HAVE TO DRINK THINGS, BABY. YOU NEED TO PEEPEE.

I JUST WANT YOU HEALTHY. YOU’RE SUCH A HAPPY LITTLE GIRL – BE HEALTHY TOO. GET BETTER. PLEASE.

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING
♥ MOMMA

I LOVE WATCHING YOU SLEEP. YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD AND WHEN YOU SLEEP, YOU'RE EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL.

YOU'RE PRECIOUS AND FABULOUS AND YOU MAKE THE WORLD SO WONDERFUL TO BE IN.
YOU CRIED WHEN I DROPPED YOU OFF AT LINDA'S AGAIN. I'M SO SORRY BABY. NOW THIS DAY IS JUST DRAGGING BY SO SLOWLY.

YOU'RE STILL SICK. I KNOW IT MAY SOUND LIKE YOU'RE SOME SICKLY LITTLE CHILD, YOU'RE NOT, I PROMISE - YOU JUST GET COLDS LIKE ALL KIDS DO, BUT YOU'RE MY BABY, AND I DON'T WANT ANY ILLNESS TO BEFALL YOU, SO EVERY TIME YOU GET EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT SICK, IT'S A BIG DEAL TO ME. THIS COLD, THOUGH, IS A BIT CRAPPIER THAN THE REST B/C YOU'RE SO VERY STOPPED UP AND COUGHING, BUT IT'LL PASS, I KNOW.

YOU'VE STILL GOT THAT DANG PACIFIER. I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU WHEN YOU'RE SICK. I JUST CAN'T. IT SEEMS SO MEAN TO DO. ONCE YOU'RE WELL AGAIN, WE'LL TAKE IT AWAY AGAIN AND GET BACK TO THE PACI ONLY AT NIGHT - BUT UNTIL THEN, IT'S YOURS.

LAST NIGHT YOU DECIDED I COULDN'T LEAVE YOUR SIGHT, BUT I HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM SO YOU CAME INTO THE BATHROOM WITH ME AND PLAYED ON THE FLOOR WHILE I DID MY STUFF. THIS, OF COURSE, IS NOTHING NEW - NORMALLY I HAVE TO HOLD YOU AND MANAGE WIPING AND PULLING UP MY PANTS WHILE DOING SO (AWKWARD ONE HANDED, LOL), BUT LAST NIGHT YOU FOUND THE TOILET PAPER. AND YOU LOVE TOILET PAPER.


I LOVE THAT YOU LOVE ME. I REALLY DO. IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO LOOK AT YOU AND KNOW YOU LOVE ME. IT'S WONDERFUL TO LOVE YOU. TO FEEL THE LOVE SWELL UP INSIDE ME TO THE POINT THAT I THINK MY HEART WILL BURST. IT'S SO AMAZING.

I NEVER KNEW BEING A MOM COULD BE SO PERFECT. IT'S HARD, DON'T GET ME WRONG - THE LATE NIGHTS, THE CRYING, THE STRUGGLING TO JUST CHANGE A DIAPER WITHOUT GETTING POOP ALL OVER ME, THE SUCTION BULB-ING THE SNOT OUT OF YOUR NOSE WITHOUT ACCIDENTALLY POKING YOU IN THE EYE, THE STICKING A THERMOMETER UP YOUR BUTT WHEN I THINK YOU HAVE A FEVER AND MAKING SURE NOT TO ACCIDENTALLY STICK IT IN THE WRONG HOLE B/C THAT WOULD BE GROSS AND WEIRD, PICKING YOU UP AND PUTTING YOU DOWN AND PICKING YOU UP AND PUTTING YOUR DOWN B/C YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT YET, BEING PUNCHED IN THE FACE WHILE I'M SLEEPING, THE BEING SCRATCHED WHILE YOU TRY TO GET OUT OF THE TUB B/C YOU DON'T LIKE IT WHEN I RINSE YOUR HAIR - ALL OF THAT IS HARD, BUT I DON'T DISLIKE ANY OF IT. I LOVE IT ALL. IT'S ALL WONDERFUL EVEN IF IT DOESN'T SOUND IT B/C I HAVE YOU. THE ONE THING THAT I THOUGHT WOULD BE THE HARDEST, IS, ODDLY THE BEST PART: THE FACT THAT I HAVE NO PRIVACY AND NO ALONE TIME ANYMORE B/C YOU HAVE TO BE NEAR ME - I MAY MISS THE ALONE TIME EVERY NOW AND THEN, BUT I'D RATHER HAVE YOU WITH ME 24/7 THAN HAVE 5 MINUTES ALONE. YOU'RE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANY ALONE TIME OR PRIVACY. YOU'RE SO WONDERFUL TO ME, BABY. ☺

I LOVE YOU ANGEL,
♥ MOMMA

I DROPPED YOU OFF AT DAYCARE TODAY AND YOU CRIED LIKE YOU NEVER HAVE BEFORE.

IT WAS HEARTBREAKING.

NORMALLY, WHEN I TAKE YOU TO LINDA’S, YOU WANT LINDA TO HOLD YOU, YOU GIVE HER KISSES AND HUGS, YOU LOVE HER – TODAY YOU DIDN’T WANT HER NEAR YOU, YOU KICKED AWAY FROM HER WHEN I HANDED YOU TO HER, YOU CRIED AND SNOTTED AS I LEFT YOU THERE. IT WAS TERRIBLE AND I’M SORRY.

I WISH I COULD STAY HOME WITH YOU FOREVER. YOU’RE SO WONDERFUL AND I’M SORRY I HAVE TO LEAVE YOU WITH SOMEONE ELSE DURING THE DAY.

WHILE I WAS ON MATERNITY LEAVE, DURING YOUR FIRST 3 MONTHS OF LIFE, I THOUGHT OF EVERY WAY POSSIBLE THAT I COULD STAY HOME WITH YOU – FROM WORKING PART TIME, TO JUST QUITTING – AND NONE WOULD WORK. I WORKED MY REGULAR JOB PART TIME FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS, BUT THINGS WERE TOO HARD ON US FINANCIALLY. WE COULDN’T DO IT. I’M SO SORRY BABY. PLEASE KNOW THAT I NEVER WANTED ANYONE TO WATCH YOU OTHER THAN ME. PLEASE KNOW THAT IF I HAD MY WAY, I’D BE A STAY AT HOME MOM.

I LOVE YOU BABY.
♥ MOMMA

SO THIS WEEKEND WE HAD REALLY BAD STORMS AND OUR POWER WENT OUT. SO SATURDAY WE WENT TO THE MALL TO KILL TIME. WE WALKED PAST THIS STORE CALLED ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH AND YOU’D WALK IN AND START DANCING TO THE MUSIC THEY WERE PLAYING. IT WAS SO AWESOME.

YOUR DADDY IS A LITTLE BIT MORE HIGH STRUNG WITH YOU THAN I AM. YOU WERE ON YOUR BABY BACKPACK LEASH THING (IT LETS YOU WALK FREELY WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO GO TO FAR, IT’S AWESOME AND I CAN’T IMAGINE NOT HAVING IT) AND HE KEPT ROLLING IT UP GIVING YOU LESS WALKING SPACE AND I KEPT TELLING HIM TO STOP AND LET YOU WALK AND WHEN YOU TRIED TO TOUCH THE FLOOR OF ABERCROMBIE, HE KEPT MAKING YOU STOP AND I KEPT TELLING HIM IT’S OK, IT’S THE FLOOR. WHAT I FIND FUNNIEST ABOUT THIS SITUATION WITH YOUR DAD IS THIS – HE WON’T LET YOU TOUCH THE FLOOR AT ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH, BUT HE WANTS TO TEACH YOU TO RIDE A MOTORCYCLE AND RACE CARS. IT’S HILARIOUS TO ME.

ANYWAYS, I HAD A SUPER NASTY COLD, AND B/C YOU’RE STILL SLEEPING MOST OF THE NIGHT IN BED WITH US – YOU NOW HAVE IT – AND YOU’RE AT HOME WITH YOUR NANA TODAY, BUT SHE’S STARTING TO GET SICK TOO SO I MAY HAVE TO TAKE A HALF DAY TO GO HOME AND BE WITH YOU SO YOUR NANA CAN GO HOME. WE’LL SEE I GUESS. I HATE IT WHEN YOU’RE SICK. YOU’RE SO LITTLE AND PRECIOUS AND YOU DON’T DESERVE ANYTHING BAD TO EVER BEFALL YOU. I HAVE TO WIPE YOUR NOSE AND B/C YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, YOU TRY TO TURN YOUR HEAD AWAY FROM ME, WHICH MAKES ME END UP WIPING HARDER AND EVENTUALLY YOUR NOSE GETS RED AND RAW AND YOU TURN YOUR HEAD AWAY B/C IT HURTS AND YOU CRY B/C YOUR NOSE HURTS AND I CAN’T MAKE IT STOP. AND THEN I HAVE TO USE THAT SUCTION BULB ON YOUR NOSE TO GET AS MUCH SNOT OUT AS I CAN, AND YOU HATE THAT AND I CAN’T BLAME YOU B/C I’M SURE THAT’S WEIRD AND CRAPPY.

I JUST WISH I COULD MAKE IT ALL BETTER WITH A WAIVE OF MY FINGER. I’M PRAYING YOU’LL BE BETTER SOON, BABY. I’M READY FOR YOU TO NOT BE SICK ANYMORE.

I LOVE YOU ANGEL ☺
♥ MOMMA