THE MINUTE YOU WERE BORN, MY LIFE CEASED TO BE ABOUT ME. IT’S ABOUT YOU NOW, LOLA. YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD. YOU ARE THE MOST AMAZING PERSON EVER. I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE IN LOVE WITH ANYONE OR ANYTHING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. WHEN YOU WERE BORN, I WOULD SPEND HOURS JUST LOOKING AT YOU. I STILL LOOK AT YOU AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. WHEN I’M AT WORK, I JUST STARE AT YOUR PICTURES OR WATCH THE VIDEOS I HAVE ON MY CELL PHONE. KNOWING YOU EXIST MAKES THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.

YOUR DADDY AND I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE EACH DAY. WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW. WE WILL DO ANYTHIGN WE CAN TO KEEP YOU HAPPY AND SAFE. PLEASE KNOW WE’RE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU.

ONE REGRET I HAVE IS THAT I WASN’T ABLE TO BREASTFEED YOU. MY BODY JUST DIDN’T DO ITS JOB, I WAS PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO PRODUCE MORE THAN AN OUNCE OR TWO A DAY. I KNOW YOU’LL NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE, BUT I DO. I HATE THAT WE DIDN’T GET THAT BONDING THAT SO MANY MOTHERS AND THEIR BABIES GET. I KNOW WE BONDED REGARDLESS, BUT IT’S ALWAYS AT THE BACK OF MY MIND THAT I FAILED, IN SOME WAY, TO PROVIDE FOR YOU.

YOU’RE ALMOST A YEAR OLD NOW! THE TIME HAS JUST FLOWN BY. I REMEMBER, AS A KID, THAT A YEAR SEEMD TO JUST DRAG ON FOREVER – BUT NOW I’M TREASURING EVERY MOMENT B/C IT JUST WON’T STOP. I WISH IT’D SLOW DOWN A BIT.

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE MINE. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU GREW IN MY BELLY. I THANK GOD EVERY DAY FOR YOU. YOU’RE JUST SO VERY AMAZING.

I’VE BEEN TRYING TO COME UP WITH A WAY TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR WITHOUT FILLING OUT ONE OF THOSE “WATCH ME GROW” BOOKS THAT ARE POPULAR NOWADAYS – AND I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE IF I JUST WRITE LETTERS TO YOU, THAT IT MIGHT BE MORE MEANINGFUL. THIS WAY I CAN TELLYOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, HOW YOU’RE GROWING AND CHANGING, AND MAYBE PASS ON KNOWLEDGE AND/OR ADVICE THAT YOU MAY OR MAY NOT LISTEN TO. IF YOU’RE ANYTHING LIKE ME, UNTIL YOU HIT YOUR MID-20’S YOU’LL THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING AND WON’T LISTEN TO ANY ADVICE ANYONE GIVES YOU. AND THEN ONE DAY YOU’LL WAKE UP AND THINK TO YOURSELF, “WOW, I SHOULDA LISTENED TO SO AND SO B/C THAT WAS REALLY STUPID WHAT I DID” OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES. I KNOW I HATED COMING TO THE REALIZATION THAT I DIDN’T KNOW IT ALL AND THAT IF I’D JUST LISTENED TO THIS PERSON OR THAT – THAT THINGS MIGHT’VE BEEN EASIER ON ME. BUT WE EACH HAVE OUR OWN ROAD TO TRAVEL AND WE HAVE TO LEARN SOMEHOW. SOME PEOPLE LEARN BEST THRU EXPERIENCE AND NOT THRU FOLLOWING ADVICE. SO YOU DO WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR DADDY AND I WILL BE HERE NO MATTER WHAT.

I LOVE YOU ANGEL ☺
♥ MOMMA