YOU’RE SICK AGAIN. I HATE IT. I CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. IT’S THAT STUPID HAND, FOOT, AND MOUTH AGAIN. YOU’VE GOT THE RASH AND THIS TIME YOU HAVE BLISTERS ALL IN YOUR MOUTH AND ON YOUR LIPS. IT’S HORRIBLE. I WISH I COULD TAKE IT AWAY. I’D RATHER BE SICK THAN YOU. I CAN DEAL WITH BEING SICK. YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO. I LOVE YOU BABY.
WE TOOK YOU TO THE CHILDREN’S MUSEUM LAST WEEKEND AND YOU HAD A BIG TIME. YOU DANCED AND PLAYED AND DANCED AND PLAYED. YOU LOVED THE CARS (JUST LIKE YOUR DADDY), AND YOU LOVED THE MUCH (JUST LIKE BOTH YOUR DADDY AND MYSELF). I TOOK A VIDEO OF IT AND MADE SURE TO POST IT SO THE WORLD COULD SEE HOW GREAT YOU ARE.
YOU’VE REALLY STARTED TO ENJOY DANCING A LOT. I’M WONDERING IF WE SHOULD LOOK INTO LESSONS FOR YOU. I KNOW I WISH I’D HAD THEM, AND SINCE YOU DANCE EVERY TIME YOU HEAR A BEAT, I THINK YOU’D LIKE IT. YOU’VE ALSO STARTED TRYING TO SING, WHICH IS AWESOME. YOU BELT OUT THESE LITTLE “OH OH’S” AND “AAAHHH’S.” IT’S FABULOUS.
YOU’VE STARTED SAYING, “MOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMY” WHEN YOU WANT SOMETHING. YOU SAY “MOMMY” OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND POINT IN THE DIRECTION OF WHAT YOU WANT AND I HAVE TO CARRY YOU AROUND UNTIL WE FIND WHAT IT IS YOU’RE POINTING AT. IT’S PRECIOUS.
I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH ANGEL. I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND I’LL DO ANYTHING I CAN TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN.

♥ MOMMA

THE EVOLUTION OF NICKNAMES FOR LO: THE PAST 15 ½ MONTHS.

YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN LO, AND THAT WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE.
YOU BEGAN AS PIGLET B/C YOU MADE OINKING NOISES WHILE TRYING TO FIND MY BREAST.
PIGLET TURNED INTO PIGGLES B/C YOU WERE A PIGLET THAT WIGGLED.
PIGGLES BECAME PANTS, NO IDEA WHY.
PANTS BECAME LOLAPANTS, POOPANTS, AND SOMEHOW TURNED INTO BRAINS AND BITTYBRAINS.
THEN WE WENT BACK TO PANTS, AND POOPANTS, WHICH JUST BECAME POO B/C YOU HAVE WORKING BOWELS.
POO BECAME FART, THEN BACK TO POO, THEN BOOGER B/C YOU HAD COLDS A LOT.
BOOGER WENT BACK TO POO, THEN BECAME POOTLE (SPELLED WITH A T B/C IT STANDS FOR FART AND NOT THE BREED OF DOG).
POOTLE BECAME DOODLE, AND DOODLE BECAME NOODLE.
AT ANY POINT IN TIME WE MAY CALL YOU ANY OF THESE NAMES – BUT FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER, ALL OF THESE MEAN LOLA.
AND THEY ALL MEAN: I LOVE YOU!
♥ MOMMA

WELL BABY, WE’VE TAKEN THE PACI AWAY AGAIN.
WHEN YOU WERE SICK, WE GAVE IT BACK B/C ALL WE WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO BE COMFORTED AND IF IT MEANT YOU GOT YOUR PACI WHENEVER YOU WANTED IT, THEN BY GOD, YOU GOT THAT PACI. BUT YOU AREN’T SICK ANYMORE, SO YOU CAN ONLY HAVE IT NOW WHEN YOU’RE TAKING A NAP, GOING NITE NITE, OR IN YOUR CRIB.
SINCE YOU’VE BEEN BETTER FOR A BIT NOW, I WAS GOING TO LET YOU GO BACK TO LINDA’S, BUT SINCE YOUR NANA LOVES HAVING YOU AROUND, IT WAS ONLY GOING TO BE PART TIME – BUT I DON’T THINK LINDA WANTS TO WATCH YOU ANYMORE. SORRY ABOUT THAT. LOOKS LIKE SHE TOOK MY TAKING YOU OUT OF DAYCARE PERSONALLY, EVEN THO I TOLD HER IT WAS B/C THE DOCTOR RECOMMENDED IT. OH WELL, YOUR NANA DOESN’T MIND AT ALL AND IT JUST ENSURES YOU’LL BE CLOSE TO HER. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, I WANT YOU TO LOVE HER AS MUCH AS I DO B/C SHE’S AN AWESOME PERSON AND A GREAT MOM AND GRANDMOM.
YOU’VE GOTTEN BACK INTO THE HABIT OF ENDING UP IN BED WITH US. THAT HAS TO STOP. I’M SO TIRED ALL THE TIME. I DON’T WANT TO MAKE YOU SLEEP IN YOUR OWN BED, BUT I KNOW I NEED TO – SO WE’LL START WORKING ON THAT NEXT. I WANT TO TACKLE ONE THING AT A TIME. PACI FIRST, THEN BEDTIME, AND THEN I GUESS BOTTLE (BUT YOU’LL STILL GET THAT NITE NITE BOTTLE B/C I KNOW IT’S SOOTHING TO YOU). THE ONLY THING ABOUT TAKING THAT BOTTLE AWAY IS THAT IF I WANT YOU TO DRINK MILK WITH BREAKFAST YOU WON’T DRINK IT FROM ANYTHING OTHER THAN A BOTTLE, SO THAT POSES A CONUNDRUM FOR ME – BUT WE’LL GET IT FIGURED OUT.
YOUR DADDY AND I BOUGHT YOU A NEW ROCKING HORSE AND A RIDE ON THING THAT YOU LOVE. YOUR NANA CREATED A GAME CALLED “TOOT TOOT” WHICH INVOLVES YOU BEING PULLED AROUND ON YOUR RIDE ON THRU THE HOUSE. OUR HOUSE IS TINY, SO WE CAN’T PULL YOU THAT FAR – BUT WE DO WHAT WE CAN AND YOU LOVE IT. YOUR DADDY CLEANED OUT THE CARPORT, SO WE’RE GOING TO GET YOU A SWING TO PLAY ON OUTSIDE – AND WE GOT YOU A LITTLE BLOW UP SWIMMING POOL THAT YOU LOVE PLAYING IN.
TIME OUT IS WORKING FAIRLY WELL. YOU DON’T HIT AS MUCH, BUT YOU STILL HIT. WHAT’S FUNNY IS THAT I KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING. FOR EXAMPLE, SUNDAY YOU WERE MESSING WITH THE DVD PLAYER AND THE STEREO. I PICKED YOU UP AND MOVED YOU AWAY FROM THEM AND TOLD YOU, “NO, WE DON’T MESS WITH THOSE.” AND YOU CRAWLED BACK AND STARTED AGAIN. SO I MOVED YOU AND TOLD YOU, “NO MA’AM. DON’T DO THAT. I TOLD YOU NO. DO IT AGAIN AND I’LL PUT YOU IN TIME OUT.” SO YOU CRAWLED BACK UP TO IT, LOOKED AT ME, I SAID, “I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH IT.” SO YOU SMILED, SLAPPED THE DVD PLAYER, AND WERE PUT IN TIME OUT. YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING. YOU’RE A SNEAKY LITTLE POO. AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT.
YOU’VE STARTED TO CALL ME MOMMA! AND YOU KNOW THAT I’M MOMMA B/C DADDY CAN SAY, “GO FIND MOMMA!” AND YOU COME RUNNING UP TO ME! IT’S WONDERFUL. YOU STILL DON’T SAY IT MUCH, BUT I KNOW YOU KNOW IT AND I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT’S ME. THAT MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW (UNTIL YOU HAVE KIDS AND THEN YOU’LL TOTALLY KNOW).
WELL, I THINK THAT’S ALL FOR NOW.
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS ENTIRE WORLD ANGEL.
♥ MOMMA

TONIGHT IS THE FIRST NIGHT YOU'VE SPENT AWAY FROM HOME. IT'S SCARY, BUT OK. YOU'RE STAYING WITH YOUR NANA, SO I KNOW YOU'RE SAFE. YOUR GRANDPA ALAN IS OUT OF TOWN, SO IT'S A TOTAL GIRLS NIGHT SLUMBER PARTY FOR YOU. I KNOW YOU'LL LIKE IT, BUT IT'S STILL SCARY. TONIGHT YOUR DADDY AND I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO. I'M SO USED TO PUTTING MY HAND ON YOUR CHEST AS I GO TO BED TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE STILL BREATHING (MORBID, I KNOW). EVERY TIME I WAKE UP IN THE NIGHT, I CHECK ON YOU. NOT HEARING YOU CRY TONIGHT WILL BE REALLY WEIRD. NOT ENDING UP WITH YOU IN BED WITH ME WILL BE SAD. YOU'RE SO WONDERFUL.
YOU'RE STILL HITTING – BUT I'M DOING THE TIME OUT THING. IT'S DIFFICULT TO DO TIME OUT WHEN I'M TRYING TO GET YOU TO GO TO SLEEP AND YOU HIT, SO I HAVEN'T DONE TIME OUT THEN – AND WHEN YOU'RE ON YOUR CHANGING TABLE AND FUSSING AND SCREAMING B/C YOU HATE YOUR DIAPER BEING CHANGED AND YOU HIT – I HAVEN'T DONE TIME OUT THEN EITHER B/C YOU'RE NAKED. BUT WHEN IT'S NOT ONE OF THOSE 2 SITUATIONS, I'VE BEEN PUTTING YOU IN TIME OUT FOR 1 MINUTE. AND IF YOU GET UP, I PUT YOU BACK IN TIME OUT AND START THE TIMER OVER. YOU HATE IT. YOUR DADDY REALLY HATES IT B/C IT MAKES YOU CRY – BUT I HAVE TO GIVE YOU LIMITS. YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT WHEN I SAY NO, THAT I MEAN IT. I'M NOT HURTING YOU, JUST MAKING YOU SIT STILL. BUT LIKE I SAID, YOU HATE IT. LIZ CAME UP WITH THE IDEA OF GETTING A PLAY YARD AND USING IT SO YOU WON'T GET UP AND WALK OFF AND IT'D KEEP YOU IN THE "NAUGHTY SPOT". I LIKE THAT IDEA. GOTTA FIND A PLAY YARD ON CRAIGSLIST.

WELL. I GUESS THAT'S ALL RIGHT NOW.
>I LOVE YOU SWEET ANGEL.
♥ MOMMA

I KNOW IT'S SILLY TO FEEL THE WAY I DID. AND I'M BETTER NOW. I GUESS WE JUST HAD A COUPLE ROUGH DAYS THERE - BUT YOU TOTALLY LOVE ME AND YOU LIKE ME. I KNOW THAT :) IT'S OK.
YOU KEEP HITTING. THAT HAS GOT TO STOP, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET IT THRU TO YOU THAT IT'S NOT COOL. I GRAB YOUR HAND AND FIRMLY TELL YOU, "NO HIT, GENTLE" AND YOU LAUGH AT ME. I POP YOUR HAND AND SAY, "NO HIT" AND YOU LAUGH AT ME. I GET REALLY MAD AND ALMOST YELL, "NO HIT!" AND YOU LAUGH AT ME. I'M NOT PLAYING, DON'T HIT ME, DON'T HIT YOUR DAD, DON'T HIT YOUR NANA, DON'T HIT THE DOGS, DON'T HIT. NOW HOW DO I GET THAT THRU YOUR BABY SKULL? I HAVE NO IDEA. ALL I KNOW IS, I'M TIRED OF BEING SLAPPED AND I'M TIRED OF BEING TERRIFIED OF MY DAUGHTER HAVING HER HANDS NEAR MY FACE. I GUESS I'LL LEARN WHAT TO DO, BUT UNTIL THEN IT SUCKS...
I STILL LOVE YOU THOUGH, I PROMISE :)
♥ MOMMA

I KNOW YOU LOVE ME, BUT I WORRY THAT YOU DON’T LIKE ME. BECAUSE YOUR DADDY AND I HAVE TO WORK FULL TIME, YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME WITH YOUR NANA, AND OF THAT I MUST ADMIT I’M VERY JEALOUS. WHEN I GET HOME TO YOU IN THE AFTERNOON, YOU’RE HAPPY TO SEE ME, BUT DON’T COME RUNNING UP TO ME AND DON’T WANT ME TO HOLD YOU. I CAN’T SPEND TIME WITH YOU AFTER WORK B/C I HAVE TO DO THE DISHES, MAKE DINNER, DO THE LAUNDRY. BY THAT TIME, I HAVE TO FEED YOU, BATHE YOU, GET YOU IN YOUR PJ’S AND THEN MAYBE SPEND 15 MINUTES WITH YOU BEFORE NIGHT NIGHT. YEA, I KNOW YOU LOVE ME – BUT WHEN DADA COMES HOME, YOU RUN UP TO HIM. YOU WANT HIM TO HOLD YOU AND PLAY WITH YOU. YOU RUN FROM ME. YOU SAY DADA, YOU SAY NANA, YOU VERY RARELY SAY MAMA. I KNOW YOU LOVE ME AND IN TIME YOU’LL WANT ME MORE AND NEED ME MORE… BUT RIGHT NOW I FEEL VERY UNWANTED. AND I MAKES ME SO VERY SAD.

WELL, YOU STOPPED THROWING UP. I’VE BEEN GIVING YOU PREVACID ONCE A DAY AND I THINK IT’S HELPING. SO I FEEL BETTER THAT YOU FEEL BETTER.
YOU CAN CLIMB UP ONTO THE COUCH NOW. YOU’RE JUST GETTING SO BIG, BABY.
YOU’VE SLEPT IN YOUR BED FOR THE PAST 3 NIGHTS. I MISS HAVING YOU IN BED NEXT TO ME SO WE CAN SNUGGLE, BUT I KNOW WE ALL (YOU, ME, AND YOUR DADDY) SLEEP BETTER IF YOU’RE IN YOUR BED AND WE’RE IN OURS. YOU STILL WAKE UP DURING THE NIGHT, BUT ALL I HAVE TO DO IS PAT YOU ON YOUR LITTLE BOOTY AND RUN MY FINGERS THRU YOUR HAIR AND GIVE YOU YOUR PACI AND YOU GO BACK TO SLEEP.
WE’VE TAKEN THE PACI BACK AWAY DURING THE DAY. THE ONLY TIME YOU GET IT NOW IS IF YOU’RE IN YOUR CRIB – AND IT’S WORKING JUST FINE. I HAVEN’T WORKED UP THE PLAN ON HOW TO BREAK YOU OF THE BOTTLE YET THOUGH.
YOUR DADDY AND I ARE TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO MOVE TO ARKANSAS SO WE CAN BE CLOSER TO YOUR NANA SO SHE CAN WATCH YOU WHILE WE’RE AT WORK. I DON’T KNOW IF IT’S GONNA HAPPEN, BUT I KNOW WE’RE GONNA TRY. I KNOW THE AREA’S BETTER, THE SCHOOLS ARE BETTER, AND I THINK IT’D BE A BETTER A ENVIRONMENT FOR YOU.
WELL, I GUESS THAT’S ALL FOR NOW.
I LOVE YOU BABY
♥ MOMMA