Wednesday, June 16, 2010
I KNOW YOU LOVE ME, BUT I WORRY THAT YOU DON’T LIKE ME. BECAUSE YOUR DADDY AND I HAVE TO WORK FULL TIME, YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME WITH YOUR NANA, AND OF THAT I MUST ADMIT I’M VERY JEALOUS. WHEN I GET HOME TO YOU IN THE AFTERNOON, YOU’RE HAPPY TO SEE ME, BUT DON’T COME RUNNING UP TO ME AND DON’T WANT ME TO HOLD YOU. I CAN’T SPEND TIME WITH YOU AFTER WORK B/C I HAVE TO DO THE DISHES, MAKE DINNER, DO THE LAUNDRY. BY THAT TIME, I HAVE TO FEED YOU, BATHE YOU, GET YOU IN YOUR PJ’S AND THEN MAYBE SPEND 15 MINUTES WITH YOU BEFORE NIGHT NIGHT. YEA, I KNOW YOU LOVE ME – BUT WHEN DADA COMES HOME, YOU RUN UP TO HIM. YOU WANT HIM TO HOLD YOU AND PLAY WITH YOU. YOU RUN FROM ME. YOU SAY DADA, YOU SAY NANA, YOU VERY RARELY SAY MAMA. I KNOW YOU LOVE ME AND IN TIME YOU’LL WANT ME MORE AND NEED ME MORE… BUT RIGHT NOW I FEEL VERY UNWANTED. AND I MAKES ME SO VERY SAD.
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My mama watches zion for me, and he says granny all the time. He cried when he saw her at church and wanted her not me. Sometimes I wonder if I disappeared would he notice. But I know he loves me and when him and Lola get older there will never be nothing like Mama's kisses, not Nana's or Daddys lol. àt least I hope lol. *sigh* the plight of the mama.
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