WELL, YOU’RE A YEAR OLD NOW!! I STAYED HOME FROM WORK AND WE WENT TO YOUR 1 YEAR CHECK UP WITH DR. MATHIS (YOUR PEDIATRICIAN). YOU WALKED ABOUT 15 FEET YESTERDAY AND THEN PLOPPED DOWN ON YOUR BOOTY AND WENT BACK TO CRAWLING. YOU’RE GETTING THE HANG OF WALKING, BUT STILL FIND CRAWLING TO BE FASTER, HAHA! YOUR BIRTHDAY WAS COLD AND CLOUDY, SO WE DIDN’T GET TO GO TO THE ZOO. MAYBE THIS WEEKEND WE’LL GO.

I’VE GOT TO START GETTING RID OF THE BOTTLE. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO WEAN YOU OFF IT THOUGH. MAYBE WE’LL TRY IT IN A FEW WEEKS. I’M NOT PRESSURING IT JUST NOW.

YOU REALLY MISS YOUR PACIFIER AT NIGHT. YOU HAVEN’T SLEPT WELL SINCE WE TOO IT. YOU HAVEN’T FOUND YOUR THUMB AND YOU DON’T FIND ANY OF YOUR DOLLS OR TOYS TO BE SPECIAL ENOUGH TO GET ATTACHED TO THEM. SO I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’LL DO. MAYBE I’LL TALK TO YOUR DAD ABOUT GIVING IT BACK AT NIGHT. YOU NEED SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU FEEL SECURE. WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT.

BTW, YOU STILL END UP IN BED WITH US EVERY NIGHT. YOU MAYBE SLEEP 3-4 HOURS IN YOUR CRIB, THE REST IS WITH US. I DON’T MIND. I MAY NOT SLEEP WELL, I MAY END UP COVERED IN YOUR PEE FROM LEAKY DIAPERS, YOU MAY PUNCH ME IN THE FACE IN YOUR SLEEP, AND I MAY COMPLAIN ABOUT IT – BUT I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT AND IF I HAD MY WAY, YOU’D BE IN BED WITH ME FOREVER SO I COULD HOLD YOU.

I LOVE YOU BABY, MORE THAN ANYTHING!
♥ MOMMA

WE WENT TO THE ZOO THIS PAST SATURDAY. IT WAS FUN. YOU DID PAY ATTENTION AND SEE A GOOD BIT OF THE ANIMALS. I WAS WORRIED YOU’RE TOO YOUNG, BUT YOU SAW THEM AND HAD FUN. YOUR GRANDPA RALPH GOT US A MEMBERSHIP FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, SO WE’LL GO A LOT MORE NOW! YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER TOOTH COMING IN ON THE BOTTOM FRONT AND I NOTICED A MOLAR! OMG!! YOU’RE GETTING SO BIG!!! I MISS YOU BEING SMALL, BUT I LOVE BEING ABLE TO DO THINGS WITH YOU THAT YOU CAN’T DO WITH A LITTLE LITTLE BABY.

WE TOOK YOUR PACIFIER AWAY SATURDAY AT THE ZOO AND YOU HAVEN’T HAD IT BACK. I’M REALLY GLAD. I KNOW THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH PACI’S, BUT YOU’RE A TROOPER AND YOU’RE FIGURING OUT THAT YOU DON’T’ HAVE TO HAVE IT.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY!!!
♥ MOMMA

WE'RE GOING TO THE ZOO THIS WEEKEND!!! YOUR DADDY AND I ARE SO EXCITED! WE REALLY HOPE YOU'LL HAVE FUN.

12 DAYS TILL YOUR 1ST BIRTHDAY! I'M TAKING THAT DAY OFF WORK SO WE CAN DO SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'LL DO, BUT I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU ON YOUR BIRTHDAY. I THINK WE MIGHT DO A SMALL GET TOGETHER THE WEEKEND AFTER (B/C YOU'RE BIRTHDAY'S ON A TUESDAY). IT'S MY BIRTHDAY THAT WEEKEND, SO WE CAN JUST COMBINE IT INTO ONE. WE PROBABLY WON'T DO TOO MUCH THOUGH. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HAVING BIG PARTIES FOR 1 YEAR OLDS. I MEAN, IT'S AWESOME, IT IS - BUT YOU WON'T REMEMBER IT, AND YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH OF AN ATTENTION SPAN TO WARRANT A BIG PARTY. IF WE HAD ALOT OF MONEY, WE'D TOTALLY HAVE A BIG PARTY, BUT RIGHT NOW WE'RE SO BROKE, WE'LL DO WHAT WE CAN, AND I'M SURE YOU'LL ENJOY IT ☺

YOU'RE GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO WALKING!! YOU'LL STAND UP, LET GO, AND DANCE IN PLACE WHICH IS REALLY REALLY CUTE. EVERYONE SAYS YOU'LL BE WALKING BEFORE WE KNOW IT. YOU DID TAKE 1 STEP TOWARD ME LAST NIGHT, BUT THEN YOU PLOPPED RIGHT BACK DOWN ON YOUR CUTE LITTLE BUTT. IT'S SO AMAZING TO WATCH YOU LEARN.

I LOVE YOU!!!
♥ MOMMA

YOU’VE BEGUN TO BABBLE IN THIS STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS. IT’S SO CUTE. I’M STILL WAITING FOR REAL WORDS. YOU SAY, “MAMA,” BUT ONLY WHEN YOU’RE MAD B/C YOU’RE DIAPER IS BEING CHANGED OR WHEN YOU’RE REALLY UPSET. SO I’M NOT SURE IF THAT’S AN ACTUAL WORD YOU’RE SAYING, OR JUST SOUNDS YOU’RE MAKING – SO I DON’T COUNT THAT AS AN ACTUAL “MAMA.”

YOU’RE GROWING SO FAST. I COULD SAY THAT A MILLION TIMES AND IT’D BE TRUE EVERY TIME. SOMETIMES WHEN I PICK YOU UP FROM DAYCARE I SWEAR YOU’VE GROWN DURING THE DAY.

YOU DANCE MORE. YOU’VE BEGUN TO PAY ATTENTION TO MUSIC MORE. WATCHING YOU LISTEN TO SOMETHING YOU LIKE IS AWESOME B/C YOU BOB YOUR LITTLE HEAD SIDE TO SIDE AND BOUNCE UP AND DOWN.

IT’S ALMOST YOUR FIRST BIRTHDAY. I JUST HOPE YOUV’E ENJOYED THIS YEAR AS MUCH AS YOUR DADDY AND I HAVE. I KNOW YOU WON’T REMEMBER IT, BUT I WANT ANY SUBCONSCIOUS IMPRESSIONS YOU HAVE OF THIS YEAR TO BE HAPPY ONES.

I LOVE YOU BABY.
♥ MOMMA

HAPPY 11 MONTHS BABY!!!! YOU HAD YOUR FIRST VALENTINE’S DAY! I’M SORRY IT WASN’T THAT AWESOME. WE JUST WENT TO YOUR NANA’S AND PAPA ALAN’S. ALTHOUGH YOU DID GET LOTS OF LOVE, SO THAT MAKES IT OK ☺. WE HAD A SPECIAL DINNER THAT I COOKED (AND YOU ATE IT B/C YOU’RE AWESOME!!) OF STEAK, BROCCOLI & CAULIFLOWER WITH CHEESE SAUCE, BLACKEYED PEAS (YOUR FAVORITE) AND SAUTEED ZUCCHINI.

I LOVE YOU SWEETIE!!
♥ MOMMA

YOU HAVE YOUR FIRST REAL DIAPER RASH. POOR THING. YOUR STUFF IS ALL PINK AND LOOKS SO PAINFUL AND YOU CRY SO HARD WHEN I CHANGE YOU. I WANNA KISS IT AND MAKE IT BETTER BUT THAT WOULD BE WEIRD AND WOULDN’T HELP ANYWAYS, LOL! I KEEP PUTTING DIAPER RASH CREAM ON IT AND NOTHING SEEMS TO HELP. TONIGHT WE’RE LETTING YOU HAVE NEKKID BUTT TIME TO SEE IF THE AIR WILL HELP. YOUR NANA IS WATCHING YOU TODAY AT HOME. SHE LOVES WATCHING YOU SO MUCH AND YOU LOVE HER. YOU’VE STARTED SAYING, “UH-OH” WHEN YOU DROP THINGS AND IT’S SO CUTE! YOU LOVE SHRIMP FRIED RICE AND YOU SAY, “MMMMMMM!” WHEN YOU EAT IT. I KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW, STANDARD PRACTICE SAYS TO WAIT UNTIL YOUR CHILD IS OVER A YEAR FOR PEANUT BUTTER AND OVER 2 YEARS FOR SHELLFISH – BUT WE HAVE NO HISTORY OF FOOD ALLERGIES IN OUR FAMILY (EXCEPT I HAVE A VERY MILD ALLERGY TO PISTACHIOS) SO I’VE LET YOU HAVE THEM AND YOU’RE FINE. THE ONLY THING I STICK TO IS HONEY – YOU CAN’T HAVE THAT UNTIL YOU’RE A YEAR OLD B/C IF IT’S NOT PASTURIZED ENOUGH (OR AT ALL) THERE’S A SPORE IN IT THAT COULD CAUSE PROBLEMS FOR YOU.

YOU STILL DON’T SAY “MAMA.” I KNOW YOU’LL SAY IT SOON ENOUGH, BUT IT WON’T BE SOON ENOUGH FOR ME.

I LOVE YOU ANGEL!!!
♥ MOMMA

ONE DAY, I HOPE YOU’LL BECOME A MOM. SOMETHING TO KNOW ABOUT THAT THOUGH, IS THAT YOUR FRIENDSHIPS WILL CHANGE AND SOME MAY EVEN DIE. AFTER YOU BECOME A MOM, YOU WILL TRY TO MAINTAIN FRIENDSHIPS WITH YOUR FRIENDS THAT DON’T HAVE KIDS, BUT SOMETIMES YOU JUST CAN’T. NO FIGHTING OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT – YOU JUST LOSE TOUCH. YOU HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON ANYMORE. EVEN WHEN BEFORE YOU SEEMED TO HAVE EVERYTHING IN COMMON. NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU HAD BEEN FRIENDS BEFORE THE BABY. NO MATTER HOW CLOSE YOU WERE. YOU HAVE THE BABY AND THE FRIENDSHIP JUST KINDA DISSOLVES. IT’S SAD, BUT IT WILL HAPPEN WITH AT LEAST ONE FRIEND. POSSIBLY MORE. IT WAS JUST ONE FRIEND WITH ME – AND I’D KNOWN HER SINCE HIGH SCHOOL – BUT IT’S OK.

IT MAY BE INSTANT, IT MAY TAKE A YEAR. IT’S SAD AND IT SUCKS, BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IT HAPPENS, IT’S OK, AND IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN’T UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR BABY COMES FIRST. THEY CAN’T RELATE TO DIAPER CHANGES AND BOTTLES AND PACIFIERS. IT’S OK BECAUSE THERE WILL BE SOME FRIENDS THAT CAN HANDLE IT AND THEY’RE THE BEST ONES. AND NO MATTER HOW MANY FRIENDS YOU LOSE WHEN YOU HAVE THE BABY – THAT LITTLE BUNDLE OF AWESOME MAKES UP FOR IT ALL. I COULD HAVE NO FRIENDS AT ALL, AND JUST KNOWING YOU’RE THERE AND YOU LOVE ME MAKES UP FOR IT ALL.

SOMETHING ELSE I WANTED TO BRING UP, AND IT MAY BE AWKWARD FOR YOU, AND I’M SORRY, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE SAID – I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IF YOU’RE GAY – IF YOU REALIZE AS YOU GROW THAT YOU’RE GAY, OR IF YOU THINK YOU MAY BE GAY – IT’S OK AND I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO TELL ME B/C IT’S NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD GO THRU ON YOUR OWN. I HOPE THAT BY THE TIME YOU’RE MY AGE, THERE ISN’T DISCRIMINATION AGAINST GAYS, BUT THERE PROBABLY WILL BE B/C THAT’S HUMANITY – BUT THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU IF YOU ARE. AND IF YOU AREN’T GAY – PLEASE DO NOT DISCRIMINATE AGAINST GAYS. THEY ARE PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU AND THEY DESERVE LOVE AND RESPECT AND FRIENDSHIP (AND GAY GUYS CAN THE BEST FRIENDS, LOL). BUT NO MATTER WHAT – IF YOU’RE GAY OR STRAIGHT, YOU AREN’T OFF THE HOOK FOR GIVING ME GRANDBABIES ☺ IF YOU’RE GAY, YOU CAN ADOPT, LOL!!

I LOVE YOU BABY!
♥ MOMMA