SO THIS WEEKEND WE HAD REALLY BAD STORMS AND OUR POWER WENT OUT. SO SATURDAY WE WENT TO THE MALL TO KILL TIME. WE WALKED PAST THIS STORE CALLED ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH AND YOU’D WALK IN AND START DANCING TO THE MUSIC THEY WERE PLAYING. IT WAS SO AWESOME.

YOUR DADDY IS A LITTLE BIT MORE HIGH STRUNG WITH YOU THAN I AM. YOU WERE ON YOUR BABY BACKPACK LEASH THING (IT LETS YOU WALK FREELY WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO GO TO FAR, IT’S AWESOME AND I CAN’T IMAGINE NOT HAVING IT) AND HE KEPT ROLLING IT UP GIVING YOU LESS WALKING SPACE AND I KEPT TELLING HIM TO STOP AND LET YOU WALK AND WHEN YOU TRIED TO TOUCH THE FLOOR OF ABERCROMBIE, HE KEPT MAKING YOU STOP AND I KEPT TELLING HIM IT’S OK, IT’S THE FLOOR. WHAT I FIND FUNNIEST ABOUT THIS SITUATION WITH YOUR DAD IS THIS – HE WON’T LET YOU TOUCH THE FLOOR AT ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH, BUT HE WANTS TO TEACH YOU TO RIDE A MOTORCYCLE AND RACE CARS. IT’S HILARIOUS TO ME.

ANYWAYS, I HAD A SUPER NASTY COLD, AND B/C YOU’RE STILL SLEEPING MOST OF THE NIGHT IN BED WITH US – YOU NOW HAVE IT – AND YOU’RE AT HOME WITH YOUR NANA TODAY, BUT SHE’S STARTING TO GET SICK TOO SO I MAY HAVE TO TAKE A HALF DAY TO GO HOME AND BE WITH YOU SO YOUR NANA CAN GO HOME. WE’LL SEE I GUESS. I HATE IT WHEN YOU’RE SICK. YOU’RE SO LITTLE AND PRECIOUS AND YOU DON’T DESERVE ANYTHING BAD TO EVER BEFALL YOU. I HAVE TO WIPE YOUR NOSE AND B/C YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, YOU TRY TO TURN YOUR HEAD AWAY FROM ME, WHICH MAKES ME END UP WIPING HARDER AND EVENTUALLY YOUR NOSE GETS RED AND RAW AND YOU TURN YOUR HEAD AWAY B/C IT HURTS AND YOU CRY B/C YOUR NOSE HURTS AND I CAN’T MAKE IT STOP. AND THEN I HAVE TO USE THAT SUCTION BULB ON YOUR NOSE TO GET AS MUCH SNOT OUT AS I CAN, AND YOU HATE THAT AND I CAN’T BLAME YOU B/C I’M SURE THAT’S WEIRD AND CRAPPY.

I JUST WISH I COULD MAKE IT ALL BETTER WITH A WAIVE OF MY FINGER. I’M PRAYING YOU’LL BE BETTER SOON, BABY. I’M READY FOR YOU TO NOT BE SICK ANYMORE.

I LOVE YOU ANGEL ☺
♥ MOMMA

HEY SWEET BABY. HERE’S AN UPDATE ON HOW YOU ARE. YOU GOT SICK ABOUT 2 WEEKS AGO. YOU HAD A FEVER THAT JUST KEPT ON GOING UP. WE TOOK YOU TO THE DOCTOR WHEN IT HIT 103.4 – DOC SAID IT WAS HAND, FOOT, AND MOUTH DISEASE AND THAT THERE WAS NOTHING WE COULD DO BUT WAIT IT OUT. THAT AFTERNOON YOUR FEVER WENT UP TO 104.5 AND I FREAKED, BUT IT WENT BACK DOWN TO REGULAR AND THEN YOU GOT A RASH ALL OVER YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE BODY. DOC SAID IT WAS NORMAL. IT FINALLY WENT AWAY THIS PAST WEEKEND BUT NOW YOU HAVE A COLD!!! YOU JUST CAN’T WIN, BABY. I’M SO SORRY FOR THAT. I STILL THINK IF I’D BEEN ABLE TO BREASTFEED YOU THAT YOU WOULDN’T GET COLDS SO OFTEN. I MEAN, THIS WILL BE THE FIRST COLD YOU’VE HAD IN A FEW MONTHS, BUT STILL. YOU’RE WALKING SO WELL NOW. YOU HAVEN’T MASTERED RUNNING, BUT THAT’S NO BIGGIE.

YESTERDAY MORNING, YOUR DADDY AND I GOT UP AND STARTED GETTING DRESSED FOR WORK, BUT YOU WERE STILL ASLEEP, SO WE LEFT YOU THERE IN THE BED (OUR BED) WHILE YOUR DADDY SHOWERED AND I BRUSHED MY TEETH. APPARENTLY YOU WOKE UP WHILE WE WERE DOING THAT B/C WHILE I WAS BRUSHING MY TEETH, YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN APPEARED, SMACKED ME ON THE LEG AND SAID, “HEY!” IT WAS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THE MOST PRECIOUS THINGS IN THE WORLD.

WE’VE KINDA BEEN BAD – WHILE YOU WERE SICK, YOU NEEDED MORE LOVE AND COMFORTING, SO WE LET YOU HAVE YOUR PACI ANYTIME OF THE DAY – NOW YOU’RE ADDICTED TO IT AGAIN. YOU START TO WHINE IF WE TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. SO THIS WEEKEND WE’LL TAKE IT AWAY AGAIN – ONLY DURING THE DAY – AND HOPEFULLY IT’LL BE AS PAINLESS AS THE FIRST TIME. ONLY THIS TIME WE WON’T GIVE IT BACK IF YOU GET SICK.

I HAVE A FEW FRIENDS THAT ARE PREGNANT – IT’S MAKING ME WANT ANOTHER BABY. TO THINK THAT I HAVEN’T BEEN PREGNANT SINCE 2008 IS WEIRD TO ME. TO THINK OF HAVING ANOTHER LITTLE BUNDLE OF AWESOME TO HUG AND KISS AND THAT YOU WOULD LOVE JUST MAKES ME EXCITED – BUT WE’RE REALLY BROKE AND DOING THAT WOULDN’T BE A SMART MOVE ON OUR PART. MAYBE IN A COUPLE YEARS WE’LL TRY – BUT I ALSO HAVE TO REMEMBER I’M 32 YEARS OLD. IN A COUPLE YEARS I’LL BE 34 – AND THE OLDER I GET, THE HARDER IT’LL BE TO GET PREGNANT. ADD TO THAT MY BEING OVERWEIGHT AND NOT EXERCISING AND THAT’LL JUST MEAN IT’LL BE HARDER TO GET PREGNANT. I JUST HOPE THAT IF WE DO DECIDE TO TRY AGAIN AND IT WORKS, THAT YOU LOVE YOUR BROTHER OR SISTER LOTS. I WANT YOU TO HAVE SOMEONE YOU CAN BE CLOSE TO, OTHER THAN ME OR YOUR DADDY (BUT OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO BE CLOSE TO US AND KNOW YOU CAN TALK TO US ABOUT ANYTHING, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN).

WE WENT TO THE ZOO THIS PAST WEEKEND, B/C YOU WERE FEELING BETTER - AND WE GOT ONE OF THOSE PLUSH ANIMAL BACKPACKS THAT HAS A LONG TAIL THAT PARENTS CAN USE TO HOLD ONTO - SO YOU CAN WALK ON YOUR OWN, BUT CAN'T GET TOO FAR AWAY. AND YOU LOVED BEING ABLE TO WALK ON YOUR OWN. WHEN WE GOT TO THE AREA WITH THE BEARS, THEY HAVE NATIVE AMERICAN MUSIC (CHANTING) PLAYING ON SPEAKERS AND YOU STARTED DANCING AND SINGING ALONG. EVERYONE SAW YOU AND THOUGHT YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS (YOU ARE!). IT WAS COOL. I LOVE BEING OUT WITH YOU AND SHOWING OFF MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL.

YOU SAY, "BABA" NOW. BUT "BABA" DOESN'T MEAN JUST ONE THING. "BABA" MEANS BOTTLE, SIPPY CUP, PACIFIER, MAMA, DADA, UP, DOWN, DOG, HOUSE, BYE BYE, HELLO. IT'S SO CUTE HOW IT MEANS EVERYTHING :)

I GUESS THAT’S ALL FOR NOW. I LOVE YOU ANGEL. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

♥ MOMMA

HEY BABY!!! YOU STARTED WALKING IN THE PAST 4 WEEKS. IT’S PRECIOUS. YOU AREN’T COMPLETELY COMFORTABLE DOING IT YET, BUT YOU REALLY ENJOY IT AND GIGGLE EVERY TIME YOU DO IT.

WE HAVE TO GIVE YOU THE PACI BACK AT NIGHT. YOU JUST SLEEP BETTER WITH IT. SO IF YOU’RE IN YOUR CRIB, OR IN BED WITH US (OR IN MY ARMS ABOUT TO TAKE A NAP), YOU CAN HAVE YOUR PACI. IT JUST SEEMS AS THO YOU’RE HAPPIER WITH IT B/C YOU DON’T HAVE A BLANKY OF A DOLLIE OR ANYTHING THAT YOU JUST CLING TO, BUT YOU CLING TO THE PACI AT NIGHT. IT’S LIKE THE PACI IS YOUR SAFETY.

SATURDAY WAS YOUR FIRST EASTER THAT ACTUALLY COUNTED. I DON’T COUNT YOUR ACTUAL FIRST WASTER B/C YOU WERE ONLY A COUPLE WEEKS OLD AND DIDN’T CARE ABOUT BUNNIES OR EGGS. YOU GOT A BASKET WITH BABY SUNGLASSES, SOME CRAYONS, AND SOME SNACKS (NO CANDY) AND WE WENT TO THE ZOO. YOU ENJOYED SEEING THE SEALS THE MOST. YOU WALKED AS MUCH AS YOU COULD AND WORE YOURSELF OUT. WE STAYED FOR ABOUT 2 ½ HOURS AND BY THAT TIME YOU WERE STARTING TO PASS OUT IN YOUR STROLLER, SO WE LEFT AND YOU TOOK A LONG NAP. WE ATE AN EARLY DINNER AND YOU WERE ASLEEP BY 6:30.

I LOVE GOING PLACES WITH YOU SO MUCH! WE NEED TO DO IT MORE, BUT WE REALLY ON HAVE THE WEEKENDS SINC EYOUR DADDY AND I WORK. YOU SAY, “DADA” NOW, BUT YOU STILL DON’T REALLY SAY, “MAMA.” YOU SAY “HEY” AND “HI” A LOT, WHICH IS REALLY CUTE. I’M TRYING TO TEACH YOU “UP” AND “DOWN” FOR WHEN YOU WANT TO BE HELD AND WHEN YOU DON’T. YOU KNOW “ON” AND “OFF” BUT DON’T SAY THEM, AND YOU KNOW WHAT “LAY YOUR HEAD DOWN” MEANS B/C I SAY IT SO MUCH AT YOUR BEDTIME, HAHA!

YOU GIVE KISSES NOW. IT’S WONDERFUL. I WANT A KISS EVERY DAY ALL DAY. MOST OF THEM ARE OPEN MOUTHED KISSES WHICH IS HILARIOUS B/C YOU JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND FOR IT ON MY MOUTH OR YOUR DADDY’S MOUTH. SO WE END UP KISSING YOUR TONGUE! EVERY NOW AND THEN WE GET A CLOSED MOUTH KISS, BUT YOU HAVEN’T LEARNED TO DO THE KISSY SOUND YET.

YOU JUST MAKE EVERY DAY SO WONDERFUL. I COULD BE HAVING THE WORST DAY EVER AND ALL I HAVE TO DO IS LOOK AT YOUR PICTURE AND I SMILE. PICKING YOU UP FROM DAYCARE IS THE BEST FEEING IN THE WORLD B/C I GET TO WATCH YOU WALK UP TO ME WITH OPEN ARMS B/C YOU LOVE ME AND WANT ME TO HOLD YOU. IT’S THE HAPPIEST MOMENT FOR ME.

I WAS SO SCARED TO GET PREGNANT AND TO HAVE A BABY, AND I WENT THRU SO MUCH CRAP RECOVERING FROM THE C-SECTION AND WAITING FOR THE SWELLING TO GO DOWN, BUT I WOULDN’T CHANGE ANY OF IT B/C IT GAVE ME YOU. MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL. I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH.

I LOVE YOU BABY
♥ MOMMA

WELL, YOU’RE A YEAR OLD NOW!! I STAYED HOME FROM WORK AND WE WENT TO YOUR 1 YEAR CHECK UP WITH DR. MATHIS (YOUR PEDIATRICIAN). YOU WALKED ABOUT 15 FEET YESTERDAY AND THEN PLOPPED DOWN ON YOUR BOOTY AND WENT BACK TO CRAWLING. YOU’RE GETTING THE HANG OF WALKING, BUT STILL FIND CRAWLING TO BE FASTER, HAHA! YOUR BIRTHDAY WAS COLD AND CLOUDY, SO WE DIDN’T GET TO GO TO THE ZOO. MAYBE THIS WEEKEND WE’LL GO.

I’VE GOT TO START GETTING RID OF THE BOTTLE. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO WEAN YOU OFF IT THOUGH. MAYBE WE’LL TRY IT IN A FEW WEEKS. I’M NOT PRESSURING IT JUST NOW.

YOU REALLY MISS YOUR PACIFIER AT NIGHT. YOU HAVEN’T SLEPT WELL SINCE WE TOO IT. YOU HAVEN’T FOUND YOUR THUMB AND YOU DON’T FIND ANY OF YOUR DOLLS OR TOYS TO BE SPECIAL ENOUGH TO GET ATTACHED TO THEM. SO I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’LL DO. MAYBE I’LL TALK TO YOUR DAD ABOUT GIVING IT BACK AT NIGHT. YOU NEED SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU FEEL SECURE. WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT.

BTW, YOU STILL END UP IN BED WITH US EVERY NIGHT. YOU MAYBE SLEEP 3-4 HOURS IN YOUR CRIB, THE REST IS WITH US. I DON’T MIND. I MAY NOT SLEEP WELL, I MAY END UP COVERED IN YOUR PEE FROM LEAKY DIAPERS, YOU MAY PUNCH ME IN THE FACE IN YOUR SLEEP, AND I MAY COMPLAIN ABOUT IT – BUT I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT AND IF I HAD MY WAY, YOU’D BE IN BED WITH ME FOREVER SO I COULD HOLD YOU.

I LOVE YOU BABY, MORE THAN ANYTHING!
♥ MOMMA

WE WENT TO THE ZOO THIS PAST SATURDAY. IT WAS FUN. YOU DID PAY ATTENTION AND SEE A GOOD BIT OF THE ANIMALS. I WAS WORRIED YOU’RE TOO YOUNG, BUT YOU SAW THEM AND HAD FUN. YOUR GRANDPA RALPH GOT US A MEMBERSHIP FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, SO WE’LL GO A LOT MORE NOW! YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER TOOTH COMING IN ON THE BOTTOM FRONT AND I NOTICED A MOLAR! OMG!! YOU’RE GETTING SO BIG!!! I MISS YOU BEING SMALL, BUT I LOVE BEING ABLE TO DO THINGS WITH YOU THAT YOU CAN’T DO WITH A LITTLE LITTLE BABY.

WE TOOK YOUR PACIFIER AWAY SATURDAY AT THE ZOO AND YOU HAVEN’T HAD IT BACK. I’M REALLY GLAD. I KNOW THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH PACI’S, BUT YOU’RE A TROOPER AND YOU’RE FIGURING OUT THAT YOU DON’T’ HAVE TO HAVE IT.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY!!!
♥ MOMMA

WE'RE GOING TO THE ZOO THIS WEEKEND!!! YOUR DADDY AND I ARE SO EXCITED! WE REALLY HOPE YOU'LL HAVE FUN.

12 DAYS TILL YOUR 1ST BIRTHDAY! I'M TAKING THAT DAY OFF WORK SO WE CAN DO SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'LL DO, BUT I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU ON YOUR BIRTHDAY. I THINK WE MIGHT DO A SMALL GET TOGETHER THE WEEKEND AFTER (B/C YOU'RE BIRTHDAY'S ON A TUESDAY). IT'S MY BIRTHDAY THAT WEEKEND, SO WE CAN JUST COMBINE IT INTO ONE. WE PROBABLY WON'T DO TOO MUCH THOUGH. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HAVING BIG PARTIES FOR 1 YEAR OLDS. I MEAN, IT'S AWESOME, IT IS - BUT YOU WON'T REMEMBER IT, AND YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH OF AN ATTENTION SPAN TO WARRANT A BIG PARTY. IF WE HAD ALOT OF MONEY, WE'D TOTALLY HAVE A BIG PARTY, BUT RIGHT NOW WE'RE SO BROKE, WE'LL DO WHAT WE CAN, AND I'M SURE YOU'LL ENJOY IT ☺

YOU'RE GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO WALKING!! YOU'LL STAND UP, LET GO, AND DANCE IN PLACE WHICH IS REALLY REALLY CUTE. EVERYONE SAYS YOU'LL BE WALKING BEFORE WE KNOW IT. YOU DID TAKE 1 STEP TOWARD ME LAST NIGHT, BUT THEN YOU PLOPPED RIGHT BACK DOWN ON YOUR CUTE LITTLE BUTT. IT'S SO AMAZING TO WATCH YOU LEARN.

I LOVE YOU!!!
♥ MOMMA

YOU’VE BEGUN TO BABBLE IN THIS STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS. IT’S SO CUTE. I’M STILL WAITING FOR REAL WORDS. YOU SAY, “MAMA,” BUT ONLY WHEN YOU’RE MAD B/C YOU’RE DIAPER IS BEING CHANGED OR WHEN YOU’RE REALLY UPSET. SO I’M NOT SURE IF THAT’S AN ACTUAL WORD YOU’RE SAYING, OR JUST SOUNDS YOU’RE MAKING – SO I DON’T COUNT THAT AS AN ACTUAL “MAMA.”

YOU’RE GROWING SO FAST. I COULD SAY THAT A MILLION TIMES AND IT’D BE TRUE EVERY TIME. SOMETIMES WHEN I PICK YOU UP FROM DAYCARE I SWEAR YOU’VE GROWN DURING THE DAY.

YOU DANCE MORE. YOU’VE BEGUN TO PAY ATTENTION TO MUSIC MORE. WATCHING YOU LISTEN TO SOMETHING YOU LIKE IS AWESOME B/C YOU BOB YOUR LITTLE HEAD SIDE TO SIDE AND BOUNCE UP AND DOWN.

IT’S ALMOST YOUR FIRST BIRTHDAY. I JUST HOPE YOUV’E ENJOYED THIS YEAR AS MUCH AS YOUR DADDY AND I HAVE. I KNOW YOU WON’T REMEMBER IT, BUT I WANT ANY SUBCONSCIOUS IMPRESSIONS YOU HAVE OF THIS YEAR TO BE HAPPY ONES.

I LOVE YOU BABY.
♥ MOMMA